Did SCOTUS Just Give Their Blessings to Man-on-Corporate Sex?

by wbramh on The Daily Kos

Tue Jan 26, 2010

We now live in a land where you can choose same-Species marriage or opposite. And you know what, I think in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman; or two men; or two women; or two women and me! No offense to anybody out there, but that's how I was raised. The brain implant would come later. But the Supreme Court of the United States changed all that this week.





<------Proposed Aetna Capital Building



According to the Court’s decision in Citizens United v. the Federal Election Commission, a Corporation is legally and forever a person - a bona fide, living, breathing entity - just like you and me, except corporations don’t have to pay taxes. And thanks to five nominated Village Idiots in robes, corporations are now more omnipotent than God.

So what’s next? For starters, the Court’s opinion recognizing corporate personhood will likely open the flood gates to the legalization of Opposite Species Marriage, and that may or may not be what Jesus would have wanted. IMO, if an insurance company and a human want to mate, it’s their business – but both will go to hell - even if the groom is Aetna and the bride is Joe Lieberman.


There’s already some speculation that the Citizen’s United ruling will lead to the dissolution of both major political parties. Should that transpire, the First Corporate Emperor of the United States could very well rise from the small ranks of current Independents. Probably somebody who caucuses with the Democrats yet kisses Republican asses, has strong ties to corporate America (particularly defense contractors and Connecticut insurance companies) and speaks in an annoying, clawing drone. In short, the devil’s answer to Lincoln. Hmmm.

I suppose the good news is that same-creature marriage between a human man and a woman will still remain legal in the opinion of a Supreme Corporate Court. But questions remain unanswered, like how do we make sure a lesbian corporation isn’t allowed to marry a lesbian person? There must be a litmus test in place. We can’t allow these perversions to permeate our society. And that, after all, is the job of the Supreme Court... isn't it?